Everyday Woman Radio Show with Vicki Hinze

WHAT IS GOING ON?

WARNING:  This is a no-edit zone...

Since I’ve received so many notes asking about the changes on the site, I thought I’d answer here.

In short, someone has too much time on their hands and not enough substance to use it constructively, so they’ve been clipping my articles, attaching them and my name to spam, largely on sites dedicated to mature content.  (Read between the lines and you’ll get the malicious gist of it.)

Not only is this copyright infringement, it’s a greater offense because I have a lot of minor students who use the writers’ library because they’re interested in learning to write or in becoming writers.  If one uses a search engine rather than coming directly to this site, one is apt to see photos and read content one shouldn’t--and doesn’t want to--read.  

So I filed reports with the FBI and they’ve been terrific.  All of this has sidetracked me from my own work, trying to undo the nastiness. I’ve lost mental track of the number of abuse reports filed, the number of notices of copyright violations, etc. (Yes, I did retain hard copies, electronic copies and backups.  I’ve nearly filled a flash drive with this nonsense.)  Authorities and an electronic investigator have been hard at work running all this down to nip this challenge in the bud.

A head’s up warning:  do check your yahoo groups.  I discovered my public email address had been subscribed to lists I hadn’t or wouldn’t join.  I had no idea.  (Lesson learned:  monitor all.)

Anyway, with all of this going on, I had to do something to a) protect the young adults from exposure as best I am able and b) protect my copyrights.  So I moved the Writers’ Library to a private access site.  It requires an ID and password (more work on this end), is monitored (even more work on this end) and is computer specific (yet even more work on this end).

There were two choices:  stop sharing or go private access.  I elected to go private access.  I don’t like it, library users (I’m sure) don’t like it (though they’ve expressed understanding and support, for which I’m grateful).  But one of my missions in life is to mentor and so it’s an extra effort I wish I didn’t have to take, but I will take to not be derailed from my mission.

Initially, I was advised to put my Faith Zone blog posts on the private access site as well as the Writers’ Library.  Actually, I was advised to put the instructional blog posts written here in My Kitchen Table, the Faith Zone posts, my podcasts and the Writers’ Library on the private access site.

I did move the Faith Zone and Writers’ Library.  But the Faith Zone being behind closed doors really rubbed me raw.  I write it to share my spiritual journey so others can see we all stumble and fumble and fall to our knees, scrape our noses and still get up and move forward again. That’s the entire purpose of sharing it.  If it’s locked behind closed doors, so to speak, then it can’t fulfill its purpose for existing.

So again I was at a crossroad and it was decision time.  Do I allow someone with poor judgment (committing destructive acts just to annoy or damage rather than focusing on their own personal, constructive forward momentum IS poor judgment) to interfere?  Or do I elect to drop the project?

Dropping it would have been easier.  Much easier than this negative time-eater (for me and others!).  But, you know, that’s a cut-and-run resolution to this challenge, and that’s no solution at all.

So I prayed a lot, moved many of the Faith Zone posts back into the open forum, and have some monitoring assistance that is exceptional at doing what they do.  And I recall something my dad once said and I’ve not forgotten:  “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth fighting for.  If it’s not worth fighting for, why are you doing it?”

Faith Zone is worth doing.  

Going through the private access site challenges is worth doing.

Nipping copyright infringements and adopting a zero-tolerance policy on them is worth doing.

The added demands on my time and resources to mentor with the library are worth doing.

Bottom line, I’m doing what I believe has worth.

So that’s what’s going on.  It’s why my posting has been sporadic.  It’s why things are shuffling around and processes and permissions are changing.   It’s why I’m taking a bit longer to respond to emails and why I’ve recruited a little extra help.  I nicknamed her “The Enforcer” and him “The Hammer.” ☺  

If you happen across a violation, please let me know.  If we allow this nonsense, we’re doomed to more of it.  Getting away with it only encourages more of it and for others prone to this type of thing to violate us, too.  I don’t like feeling violated, and I’m sure you don’t, either.  So it’s on to pro-active time.

Here’s a quick list on what’s where now:

My Kitchen Table blog is public and HERE on the writing website. (www.vickihinze.com)

Faith Zone blog is public and HERE on the writing website.  (www.vickihinze.com)

Kids’ Faith Zone blog is public and at www.faithzonegran.com.  (Audio has been added.)

Writers’ Library is on a private access site.  Apply for access HERE.

Newsletters are public and HERE on the writing website. (www.vickihinze.com)

Readers’ Discussion Guides for readers’ groups are on the individual Book Pages.

Podcasts are public and HERE on the writing website. (www.vickihinze.com)

Everything else remains the same.

One note:  There are still a few posts in the Private Access Site FAITH ZONE blog that have not been migrated back to the public site.

So that’s what’s been going on here.  It hasn’t been fun, but it certainly has been informative. Soon, I’ll post a Tip Sheet on things you might want to check to make sure none of the nonsense is going on with you--and if it is, what countermeasures you can take.

It’s worth it.  You’re worth it.

Blessings,

Vicki

Important Note

Effective today, I will be posting my blogs on my website as follows:

Writing: Craft, Art, Business and Life: My Kitchen Table

Spirituality: Faith Zone

The "Vicki Hinze on Writing" blog will be incorporated into the MY KITCHEN TABLE blog.

The website url, should you have link challenges or desire to paste into your browser is:

http://www.vickihinze.com

Blessings,

Vicki

P.S. If you're viewing this via reader, you'll need to visit the www.vickihinze.com website to view any updates.

I apologize for any inconvenience, but I'm paddling as hard as I can, and I just can't keep up, so I'm having to consolidate where and when possible. Appreciate your understanding.

For your convenience, I will still notify you of new posts here.

Vicki Hinze
www.vickihinze.com

TAGS: Vicki Hinze, hinze blog, CREATIVE WRITING, feature article, writing craft, books, novels, readers, authors, emerald coast writers, novelists, booksellers, book reviewers, everyday woman radio, romance writers, thriller writers, suspense writers

Feature Article on Personal Character

EACH DAY YOU CHOOSE...

ARE YOU A PERSON OF CHARACTER
OR A CHARACTER LACKING HUMANITY?

Read the new feature article

LIFE TURNS ON A DIME

Life, they say, is what happens while you’re otherwise occupied.

I’m not sure if I believe that, but I do believe that you can miss life by being occupied. We can get caught up in crisis living and miss the turns on our personal paths that are most meaningful.

What do I mean?

Honestly, I’m grappling with what exactly I mean, so we’ll just talk it through together, since the matter is very much on my mind this morning due to two significant events.

The two events. I guess that’s a good place to start.

Event #1: a neighbor died. He and his wife had one child, a son. He was college-age, a smart guy with character and tons of potential. A few years ago, he was crossing a bridge and a car veered into his lane and hit him head-on. He had nowhere to go, and was killed. His parents suffered the heartache of losing their child and now his father has passed, and my heart aches for his widow. She’s buried her child and will now bury her husband, and she’s left to cope with the loss alone. I find myself asking how will she bear it, and praying she’s a woman of faith because, I’ll tell you, I watched my mother bury two sons and then my father and I know that her faith is what got her through it intact.

Event #2: all the tornadoes that hit in the last two days, and all the lives cut short because they did. Each of those people had lives and hopes and dreams and aspirations. I’m sure many had enormous potential and mile-long to-do lists, too. Things that just couldn’t wait, so they put their lives on hold--the things important to them personally--to do those “can’t wait,” or crisis-living things. Yet in the span of mere minutes, all of those things became insignificant. Every bit of them did, because in that twinkling, they lost their lives. All that potential and those hopes and dreams and aspirations went with them, too.

I can’t shake thoughts of them in those last minutes. When they knew what was coming and they couldn’t avoid it. What were they thinking then? When the realization hit them that they were going to die, what were their thoughts?

I’m sure there was fear. I’m sure there was anger and cries of, “But it’s too soon. I’m not ready yet.” And I’m sure there were regrets. Things done that they wished could be undone. Things left unsaid that now would remain unsaid. Self-recrimination on priorities and perspectives of what most mattered now shifting.

I’m not sure of the nature of those regrets, but I wonder... Were any of them thinking of the crisis-living things they simply had to do before the storm?

We all have duties, responsibilities and obligations. Often so many of them that we keep pushing aside high-priority personal items. It’s those things I wonder how these people felt about at that twinkling moment.

I know that during crisis moments we often see most clearly. Our focus becomes laser sharp, intense on the matter at hand and we give everything--our all--to whatever is on our minds at that moment in time.

I know that on the other side of crises, people who have experienced those moments and survived often make a sharp turn in their lives. They consider the crisis a wake-up call and redefine their lives. They take a look at their priority list and turn it on its ear. They shun crisis-living and adopt personal priority living. And often that personal priority living has to do with dreams they’ve carried with them for a lifetime, or maybe hints of that dream that in that moment of intense clarity came sharply into focus.

This has me calling the question: Can we reach that twinkling moment, that point in time where we have laser focus and gain that clarity without experiencing a personal, life-threatening crisis?

We can. It isn’t hard to mentally place ourselves in the positions of others who have been there and done that. And if we do, then we have the opportunity to learn from their experience. We might not share all of the emotional impact that they endure, but we can grasp and project and imagine, and gain deeper insight and understanding. We can awaken and seek wisdom in this way.

There is always merit in seeking wisdom. In looking at our own crisis-living items and personal priority items and weighing what we’re doing. There’s wisdom in evaluating these things when we aren’t in crisis because we still have an opportunity to change them.

For some, they’ll choose the status quo. Life’s comfortable and they don’t want it any different. That’s their choice, and I’m sure there’s comfort in having weighed the matter and made the call. The peace that comes with knowing you’ve considered it and you’re doing what’s right for you.

Some will redefine aspects of their lives. Of those who do, some will stick with those new changes and some will slide back into the old. Their choice. Again, better because it’s come as a result of deep thought and not of apathy.

Some will challenge every single thing that has been a part of their lives and make significant changes. Life-altering, life-defining changes. Of these, some will be reborn into a life very different from the one they’ve been living, and they’ll thump themselves for waiting so long. Some will wonder what they were thinking to do this at this point in their lives, in their careers. Regardless, they will choose from a broader, more insightful perspective.

You know, I don’t think what’s significant is the path one takes so much as that one takes it with a deeper awareness of life. Taking it deliberately. Intent on taking it. That is a good thing.

Whether that awareness brings a person to a point on their journey where they move straight ahead or turn on a dime, veering sharply in a totally different direction, well that’s a choice. But the awareness, and all it brings to the person, well that’s a gift.

A gift?

Yes. Absolutely, a gift. It’s one of those gems of wisdom that is home to solace and comfort and peace.

Now I know what I mean. And I’m going to reassess from this perspective. Will I stay on the current road or change directions on a dime? I don’t know. But I will know soon. Will you?

Blessings,

Vicki

©2008, Vicki Hinze

Tags: life, crisis, death, grief, change, choice, career, path, journey, wisdom, perspective, assessment, decisions, direction, awareness, authors, writers, novels, novelists, books, readers, Vicki Hinze, writer's library

C H A R A C T E R

An Alert to let you know that I've posted a new WINTER FEATURE ARTICLE and the FEBRUARY 2008 NEWSLETTER on my website at www.vickihinze.com.

The subject of the Feature Article is CHARACTER: Are You a Person of Substance, or a Substance Lacking Humanity?

Enjoy!!!

Blessings,

Vicki

Vicki Hinze

Tags:
author, character, choices, CREATIVE WRITING, ethics, feature article, integrity, morals, newsletter, romance writer, substance, thriller writers, Vicki Hinze, writing library

Take a Step...

CHARACTERS/PEOPLE: WORKING THE CLAY

My husband is a multi-medium artist. One medium is pottery. I enjoy watching him work with the clay and have since he was working with Raku one day and I was helping him quench the pots.

You take these red-hot pots out of the kiln and put each one into a small metal garbage can that’s got shredded newspaper in it. The pot sets the paper on fire. You get this burst of flame, and cram the lid on the can. Then you wait.

At the duly appointed time, you use long tongs to remove the pot and use water to quench it. Only then do you know what you’ve actually got.

He says Raku is like Christmas. You don’t know what’s inside the package until you open it.

Interestingly enough, people are the same way. Only in getting to know them do you expose their layers--some would say, their true colors. Like the Raku, as you process these layers, you see changes and differences that alter your perception and your reaction to what is and what’s revealed.

What you thought and what you come to know is often two entirely different things.

And in that, there’s merit for writers, particularly in creating characters.

We learn the nature of people through observation and revelation. What they want us to see, and what they can’t avoid revealing. And with each new insight, we observers place a value on that aspect of their character. Our opinions, judgments, values become measuring sticks for others.

Don’t bother saying, “I don’t judge.” We all judge and measure.

Most people (and therefore characters) are a blend of “good and bad” in our eyes. Whether they fall on the overall good or bad list depends on how they stack up as an entity. An example...

We meet x and admire his open attitude. He’s friendly and fun.
But as we watch x interact, we see that it’s an act. He isn’t genuine.

This changes our perception of him. We saw attributes that are now liabilities. Who wants to interact with someone who isn’t genuine?

But then y tells us that x is shy and he really has to force himself to be open to others. It’s very hard for him, yet he’s working on it.

This changes our perception of x again. We admire the effort. We relate to the struggle. Who among us hasn’t struggled to overcome something difficult for us?

And so it goes. With each new revelation, our perception can alter in ways we gauge to be favorable or unfavorable.

And this is the key to creating complex characters.

There’s an article in my writers’ library on this site (www.vickihinze.com), CREATING UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTERS, that focuses intently on the how-to side of creation, so I won’t repeat that here. Instead, what’s on my mind this morning is the value of that complexity in characters.

In my life, I’ve met many people. Most, as I said, are a combination of good and bad traits (in my eyes). I explored these perceptions and how they influence us in REFLECTIONS, the fall feature article, also on my writing website. What I didn’t get into in any depth there was the ability of others to manipulate our reactions to them. That’s an important tool in fiction.

While manipulators and people who attempt to control us are not welcome in life, they are there, and most of us have to deal with them, or choose to not deal with them. That makes including them in our fiction favorable. After all, fiction is all about conflict.

Manipulators and control freaks make formidable fictional characters. Some people do these things--manipulate and control (or attempt to)--which are by and large considered negative, destructive and unwelcome traits, with the best intentions. They are attempting to be a positive and constructive influence. To encourage the best.

In your characters, these people would be those serving story roles as the interfering friend, the well-meaning parent or co-worker. Someone who is trying to “help.” The object of their manipulations and attempts to control might not want it, need it or ask for it. But in their eyes, they’re the object’s appointed savior, so to speak. Saving the object from dire consequences or even from him- or herself.

We (as readers) understand this, but we still don’t like what they’re doing. And typically, we don’t like them.

Then there are those who manipulate and attempt to control others for darker, self-serving reasons. They too make formidable characters. Typically, villains. While they still have positive and negative traits in their repertoire, their intentions are not to save the object of their machinations but to use, abuse, manipulate and control to serve their own interests. They are attempting through falsehoods to be a negative and destructive influence because it serves their goal.

Now these characters (again, typically villains), don’t see themselves or what they’re doing as bad. They might even see what they’re doing as noble and just. It isn’t, and readers and other characters see the truth, but the villain typically does not. Usually because s/he’s hiding behind someone or something else. (i.e., many psychotics hide behind God. Claiming their methods are insignificant because they’re doing His will.) Bizarre to rational people, but to the psychotic, this makes total sense. And we (as readers) understand this. We don’t agree, but we do understand. We might even admire the mental acuity in it, but we’re never going to accept this twisted rendition as normal, rational, or acceptable. Yet understanding is enough. And it is there where the villain obtains his strength.

If you create a black-hearted bastard as a villain--a character who is all bad and has no redeeming qualities--then you and the reader know exactly what to expect. He will give his all to doing his worst. Why? Because that’s what people do. So when he does his worst, he’s only living up to expectations. The outcome of his actions and the consequences are foretold. Anticipated. No surprise. And that equates to no suspense. And to little interest.

It also robs the villain of his humanity. No one is all bad (though admittedly some try hard to be). The bottom line is that this villain is boring, dull and flat. No matter how horrific his actions are, or how twisted his mind is, he can’t surprise or stun or shock us. He’s stripped of that ability by his lack of redeeming qualities. And just like a person with those qualities, that sum makes him weak and ineffective.

But what if this blackhearted bastard is a normal man. Good and bad, soft and hard, tolerant and intolerant? What if he’s clever? Twisted to those who dig deeply enough to see his core, but normal to others who don’t, or who haven’t?

This villain has strength and constantly surprises because we don’t know what to expect, we are not signaling ahead on his actions or reactions, and we don’t know what buttons must be pushed for him to do his worst. We don’t know his worst. More interesting? Definitely. Stronger? Absolutely.

And because he is, he can carry more story weight.

Complex characters are all about character, yes. But they’re about motivations and internal conflicts, too.

In the past two decades, I’ve created a lot of characters, a lot of villains. And the ones that chill readers’ blood are the ones who successful fool most into believing they’re rational, reasonable and normal at the onset. As the story progresses, and their true colors are exposed, (revealing in bits their inner conflicts and motivations), they become greater obstacles until such time as the protagonist vanquishes them.

That exposure elevates the worthiness of the protagonist to be the protagonist. (If a villain is weak, it doesn’t take much of a protagonist to put him in his place. If he’s strong, it takes more. If he’s even stronger, it takes even more.) And that satisfies the reader’s need to see justice.

Often in life, we don’t see justice. In stories reader’s want it, and being aware of it, authors usually give it to them.

This doesn’t just apply to villains. The reverse is also true. We meet a character we think is a bad person and discover through the story events that they’re a good person. And sometimes we create characters that are an intricate blend and even the author isn’t sure whether or not a character is a hero or a villain until the very end of the book.

If you think that can’t happen, I’m telling you it can--and has happened to me. There was a secondary character in one of my military thrillers that seemed good, then bad, then good, then bad and then I just didn’t know whether he was honorable or the worst kind of bastard. I had to completely write the book to find out.

The secret was revealed in his motivations. In his internal conflict. And here’s the part that makes this worth sharing...

When I went back and looked at just his character in relation to the novel, I saw what spurred each and every twist in perception. His motivations, goals and conflicts were intact and in place. Subtle strokes I hadn’t deliberately inserted were there, too. I thought, at the end of the book when I discovered which he was, I’d have to extensively rewrite to make him credible and consistent. I didn’t have to change one word. Not about him.

Why?

I would guess that it’s because I got to know him as a person before I started writing him, and when subconsciously he nudged me in a direction other than the one I intended, I followed.

That doesn’t sound logical, I’m sure, to non-writers, but writers know exactly what I mean. If the writer is prepared (knows the character’s story function and gives him/her traits, attributes and skills to perform it), early on in a story, the characters take over. And sometimes they know where they’re going and who they are even if the writer consciously doesn’t know.

Anyway, creating characters is like slinging pottery. That’s what I wanted to say. The artist has some control, but in the end, there are surprises. Some are pleasant, some aren’t. But as it is when dealing with people and revealing those layers or true colors, even those who aren’t pleasant are usually interesting.

Blessings,

Vicki

Vicki Hinze
©2008

Tags: character, thriller writers, authors, novelists, books, readers, manipulators, control freaks, pottery, Vicki Hinze, Writer's Library

NEW YEAR'S EVE TO-DO LIST

Today the door closes on 2007. For some it’s been a good year. For others, the best they can say is in short order it will be over. But for the majority of us 2007, like most other years, was a mixture of both. And how we view it largely depends on how we view its events or what events dominated our thoughts and time (more so than the actual events themselves).

Recognizing that offers us an opportunity to look back with a little distance (thus, objectivity) and with the gems of wisdom we’ve gained from all we’ve added to our personal treasure chests this entire year, and that reflection brings us to our biggest opportunity:

#1 We are in a position to review, discern what we want to change and what we want to keep in our lives.

Change, we all know, takes us outside our known comfort zone. It is often accompanied by conflict or challenges. It’s a pain. But so too is considering yourself on a treadmill you don’t like and not doing the work necessary to get off the thing.

Change is one part recognition, one part analysis, one part action.

You can’t get off the treadmill if you don’t realize you’re on it--and unfulfilled or discontent with it as it is.

You can’t make wise corrections to better your situation so that you are fulfilled and content without exploring the challenge (what has you unhappy/unfulfilled/discontent) and focusing on potential solutions.

You can recognize all the challenges in the world and deliberate on them for a lifetime, but if you don’t actually implement a potential solution, you’re not changing a thing to better your situation. And that means next New Year’s Eve you’ll be sitting right where you are, complaining about the same things you complained about this year (and perhaps the year before, and the one before that). You must act.

In short, if it’s broken, fix it.

You might have to explore a few solutions before hitting on the “perfect” one for you. Some will try one thing, not like the result, and consider that failure. That’s okay--provided they try something else--a different potential solution.

Many give up--and remain discontent. Those who don’t, keep exploring and find the right potential solution for them. In a very real sense, they fail their way to success.

Now we’ve been taught that failure is a bad thing. But think about it. If you gain something--and knowing what you don’t want/what doesn’t work is every bit as important as what does work and you do want--then that’s growth, and it is success. Not where you want to be, but closer. You know now these things that won’t/don’t work.

If you’ve been told repeatedly that failure is bad, then consider the previous statement your personal license to fail. Go ahead and just fail your way to success.

Before the door closes on 2007, review it. Nurture the good and cull the bad.

Be aware that culling isn’t always painless or welcome (others often don’t like for us to change) but in this, each of us must do what we feel is right. And we must remember that doing the right thing is easy when it costs you nothing. When it exacts a dear price, however, is when we gain the most personal growth. And regardless of others’ reactions, it is we who will be responsible for what we do and do not do, we who will be accountable, and we who will bear the fruits and/or the burdens.

This, by the way, isn’t a cut and run license. This is an evaluate and cull that which is no longer constructive and/or a positive influence in helping you shape your life so that you fulfill your purpose. Doing less leaves you only with regret and no one deserves only regret. Neither does anyone skate away from the consequences of their actions--that’s immutable, universal law, and well worth remembering.

#2 Tie up loose ends.

New beginnings require we put endings to bed. It’s hard to focus on new ventures when we’re dealing with remnants of the old. Some overlap is inevitable, but the less of the old we have to contend with in the time where our focus should be on the new, the better our odds of not only improving our position and making headway on the new, the better our odds are of building momentum.

Momentum is a powerful force. We put down a foundation. Upon it, we build. If one section is framed, we’re limited to going further on that one section. If two or three sections are framed, then expansion is possible on all. Momentum builds momentum. So the less time we spend in the past (deal with the old and get it done) the more time we have to invest in the future (welcome the new).

So do what you can to clear the decks--and that includes accepting what you can’t change. Don’t repress it, accept it. And then press on.

#3 Answer this question: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

No one can have everything they want, but they can have what they want most. What do you want most?

Answer it. Not in general terms, but in very specific ones. Then answer this question: WHY DO YOU WANT IT AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET IT?

In defining why you want something, you often clarify and intensify your determination. You also often develop seeds for your plan of action.

The key here is to remember another immutable law that deals with free will. You are free to seek what you will. But you are not free to impose your will on any other. These questions should be about you. Not about anyone else. How you can improve yourself, your life, your future.

If you’re constantly replaying old unworthiness tapes, or you spend a lot of time focusing on what’s wrong in your life or with everyone else, you’re on the wrong track. Respect others and yourself and recognize that you’re not accomplishing a thing that will benefit you.

If you need more on this, go into the library (www.vickihinze.com) and read or re-read WINDSHIELDS AND REARVIEW MIRRORS.

Bottom line: Look within. Your answers and benefits lie there.

#4 Set a goal. Make a plan.

I won’t go into specifics here, but if you haven’t read WHY WE NEED A PLAN, I strongly suggest that you do. It’s in my writer’s library under that title (www.vickihinze.com).

Far too many slide day-to-day, going through the motions of living without investing in anything about which they’re excited or passionate. The problem with doing this is that at best it’s a poor substitution for a life. Don’t get so caught up in busy-ness that you don’t even remember your wishes, hopes or dreams. And if you have forgotten them, pull them out of cold storage, dust them off and see if they’re still your wishes, hopes and dreams or if it’s time for an update--or even an overhaul.

Upshot: Don’t drift, design.

#5 Resolve to try at least one new thing.

If you do, you might find a new passion. If you don’t, you won’t. You might be missing something that could mean a great deal to you--and the saddest thing about that, is you might never know it.

I’m reminded here of a story I heard some time ago about a guy caught in a flood. On three different occasions help came: a neighbor, a camel and a guy in a boat. On each of these occasions the man stranded in the rising flood waters refused help, saying he was waiting on God to come help him. Well, the stranded guy drowned, hooked up with his Maker, and boy he was ticked. He demanded to know why God hadn’t come. God replied that he’d sent three different people to help. What exactly did the guy want?

The moral of the story: Sometimes we’re so fixed on what we think opportunity looks like that we fail to recognize it when it comes. Of course, that won’t happen to you if you’re open to new things...

#6 Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

Of all I’ve written in this post, this is by far the most important. It’s easy to fall into a hotbed of negativity or into a bad situation that sucks us dry, sows more seeds of discontent, or steals so much of our energy and focus that we grow inextricably mired in it and we lose sight of what’s good and going right in our lives.

When that happens, we react emotionally and that’s just not a good idea because our emotions aren’t reliable. We need balance to function with stability.

We all have challenges. No one escapes them. But if we focus only on the challenges (versus solutions to them and other things) then we’re doomed to a very rocky, very unstable road and that is definitely not in our best interests--or in anyone else’s.

To gain more balance--which leads to more stable, less dramatic (and melodramatic) events that inflict trauma on ourselves (and often on unsuspecting others)--we need only counter what’s wrong with what’s right. Counter the challenges with the blessings. See the good and be grateful for it.

Sometimes that’s easier than others. I’m reminded of something Joel Osteen once said about gratitude. There are times when the best you can do is to be grateful you’re not like x. (He pointed mid-air and said like him/her--I don’t recall which. But the intent in what he said fits situations and events as well as people.) Be grateful for little things as well as the big ones.

We often learn most from the things we tag as “bad.” We all have something to celebrate.

#7 Where you focus, you follow.

Before you act, you think. And if you allow your thoughts to run wild and unchecked, you diminish the chances of them being in your best interest. Anyone, given enough time, can rationalize and reason themselves right out of good sense--and rob themselves of accomplishments and even their destinies.

If you spend your time focused on the right things, good and constructive things, you’ll be purpose-driven and accomplish. If you spend your time focused on the wrong things, on negative or destructive things, you’ll follow that path and purpose and accomplishment will elude you.

You choose which you’ll do. You choose upon what you focus and give your energy--how you spend your life. That’s as it should be since you’re responsible for it and you will live with the joy or regret of your choices.

These things, in my humble opinion, are worthy of New Year’s Eve’s opportunities. Ones that recognize, analyze and act to position a person for powerful, meaningful personal growth. And for that, and so much more, I am grateful.

Blessings,

Vicki

Vicki Hinze
www.vickihinze.com

Stealing Religion

This one of those “can you believe it” days.

In the news this morning, there’s a report on a thief that has me shaking my head and wondering, “What is s/he thinking?”

Stealing isn’t a novelty; unfortunately, it happens with monotonous regularity. So what made this theft, or this thief, noteworthy?

The objects stolen. A nativity scene from a family’s front yard. Statues of Mary and Joseph and more. Not only did the thief steal these things, s/he also trashed other items in the family’s display--including bells and trees.

People have fought wars over religion throughout recorded history. They’ve corrupted religion, and hidden behind it when it suited them. They’ve committed all manner of crimes to all manner of people and dragged religion into it to justify their actions, regardless of how inappropriate or insincere they were in citing them. We’ve seen these type actions often--Saddam Hussein is a prime example, and there are many, many others.

It makes one wonder how a thief can twist and rationalize his/her actions to make stealing, much less stealing these types of things, acceptable.

The majority of us find stealing morally repugnant. We find stealing religious symbols representative of significant events to the owners even worse. Our disdain is palpable, our empathy with the targeted family engaged.

And then we learn that this family suffered this flagrant violation not once but twice. In a single week.

Twice they’ve been violated, had their boundaries trespassed upon and their property stolen. Twice the thief or thieves had no regard for the family. And twice the family was left with the rubble in their yard and with the task of cleaning up the mess the thief/thieves had left behind.

As I think of this family this morning, I wonder if they’ll build their display again--a third time. I hope that they do--and that they consider using electric fencing materials. A little shock could make a would-be thief stop and think. A shame that’s legally considered entrapment when it could spare a soul.

And I find my thoughts veering to the thief and, for the life of me, I can’t imagine how s/he has justified to him- or herself these actions. Stealing a religious display. It’s as warped as stealing religion itself. Will s/he recall the theft with each glance at the stolen nativity scene? What sickening baggage will s/he attach to the theft? Will s/he even grasp the magnanimity of what s/he’s done to him/herself?

You know, the sad truth is s/he probably will not. Anyone twisted enough to highjack religious displays is likely too twisted to know the truth when it’s staring them in the face.

Which is not to say that there won’t come a time when the scales are lifted from the eyes and the thief sees his/her true self with all the veneer stripped away. The truth shall set you free, right?

But first it’ll be a long look into a harsh mirror in which nothing is hidden and all that is true is exposed. Then the thief will learn the penalty of his/her actions, and then s/he will suffer the utmost consequences. Because in the very symbols stolen are promises that remain intact: you reap what you sow. And from that, the thief cannot hide.

I wonder. When the thief sows, feels the full weight of the consequences of his/her actions, how will s/he feel about stealing then? Because the truth is, the thief(s) might have stolen and damaged and destroyed that family’s property. But s/he did far more lasting damage to him/herself. The kind self-inflicted that requires far more than mere repayment to be satisfied. It requires forgiveness, and that requires divine grace.

Do you think, stealing a nativity, that this thief will have the courage to ask for divine grace?

Only s/he can answer that. But one thing is certain, while the family returns to its life of joy and peace, the thief or thieves will experience the absence of joy and/or peace and will experience the question being called over and again--in a year, five years, twenty or thirty years--until s/he does answer.

Knowing that, one has to ask: In stealing, who--the family or the thief--has and will suffer the greatest loss?

Blessings,

Vicki

P.S. After completing this post, I googled the article title “Christmas Vandals hit again.”
There were over 41,000 related stories...

GIFTS FOR WRITERS

I’m shopping today--late this year due to two weeks of flu knocking me to my knees--and I’m reminded of Christmases past--and faux pas committed on behalf of well-meaning family members (not mine, but those of other writers).

There’s the writer wife who left hints--some subtle and some bold, including a sale circular taped to the refrigerator door--and still ended up with a lovely piece of crystal when all she’d yearned for had been a fax.

There’s the writer husband who left hints--including an explicit, written addition to a shopping list--and still ended up without the gift card from the office supply store he wanted because his darling wife “wanted to surprise” him. She did, of course, but not in the way she’d hoped.

Then there’s the writer who wanted books--novels to read--and got Quick Books, so the writer could do the spouse’s business’s bookkeeping. (Yeah, that went over well. :))

And the spouse who got a trip to Italy when the sole item on her wish list was to attend a writer’s conference--which now, she could not attend because of the expensive trip to Italy.

For those of you shopping for writers. Here’s the thing. Writers are very easy to please. If you want a cannot fail gift, give them a card for an office supply store. The writer will feel they’re in heaven--and that they’ve got the most thoughtful person in the world shopping for them. Why? Because of the thought, the acknowledgment that writing is important to the writer--and you know that and place value on it.

If you want something more personal, consider a special pen or notebook. Flag tapes, post-it-notes, banker’s clips. None of these are expensive items, but you would be amazed at how many times on writer’s chat loops they’re discussed. A specific type of paper. A specific pen. Pastel or neon post-its. A little organization caddy for these tiny things. Anything related brings smiles to the writer’s face and warms his or her heart.

And if you’re flat broke and cannot afford a gift, there are heart-warming things you can do:

1. Have you read an author’s book and loved it? If so, go to amazon.com or bn.com or another online store and post a review.

2. Write a fan letter. Listen, these are so treasured by authors. And they don’t care if they’re emailed or written on a paper towel. It is the thought--hearing what you have to say--that counts.

3. Give the writer the gift of time. Watch the kids for an hour so s/he can write. If you are the kid, then give the writer a coupon.

Years ago--and this remains one of my most favorite gifts ever--my daughter gave me 20 coupons. She’d handwritten them on squares of paper she’d cut. Each was good for her to bring me a cup of coffee. Considering my office was upstairs and the coffee was downstairs, this was a really, really thoughtful gift. I loved it--and to give it, boy, she loved me. :)

Office supplies and coupons. For writers, it just doesn’t get much better than this!

Blessings,

Vicki